You Got Money? Of course, Ill Marry You Honey!

You Got Money? Of course, Ill Marry You Honey!

A kiss on the hand may be quite continental,
But diamonds are a girl's best friend.
A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay the rental
On your humble flat
Or help you at the automat.
Men grow cold as girls grow old,
And we all lose our charm in the end.
But square cut or pear shape
These rocks don't lose their shape!
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

-----crooned Marilyn Monroe in the movie ‘Gentlemen Prefer Blondes’, making this song a timeless classic.

And to this I say,” You said it, Girlfriend!”

I’m not shallow enough to want a man ONLY for his money- great buns are also a must- but there is no denying money does sweeten the pot. Doesn’t it?

Being in love sure can give you a head rush but lovers can no longer afford to be blind because it’d be foolish not to be pragmatic about what a little extra liquid cash flow or some heavy duty assets can do for you.

Money doesn’t buy love- I agree- but it buys a whole lot of other things---A home, a car; money pays the utility bill- takes care of the plumber, the gardener and any other services you may require for the upkeep of your home and lifestyle… Money can give you and your children a good life in terms of education and experiences. You could buy airline tickets and holidays to exotic destinations.

Money unarguably does give you security. And indulging in retail therapy (a little or a lot depending on your shopaholic tendencies) is the secret to every woman’s happiness! (Everyone knows that!)

So Hell Yeah! Money is ṻber important in any relationship! I’m not saying its Numero Uno in every relationship but depending on the individuals the degree of importance varies.

When I began writing this article I focused all of my energies on exploring the equation of money and that of ‘love’ relationships since many of us equate a relationship as being in love, going steady or what have you… You know- the boyfriend-girlfriend, the live-in couples, and the singles dating game etc…

But I realized, in the course of writing and rewriting my article, that as rational and social human beings we tend to form relationships with everyone we come into regular contact with. This is usually on the basis of a mutual understanding. Your daily interactions with your boss or a colleague, a business partner, your friends and relatives, your favorite supermarket cashier, your tenants or your landlord, the bus driver are all links in your daily existence. And more often than not- money is always involved in each innocuous sphere in our lives.

Think about it! How do your interactions fare when Money is involved? 

What if your boss didn’t pay you your wages? Would your favorite supermarket let you buy on credit? What if a friend took advantage of your generosity and borrowed a huge sum of money that she has not repaid in months? The questions are endless- but the answers are pretty much standard. When it comes to Money- a sign I have often witnessed holds true- “In GOD we trust, all others pay cash!”

Money goes to the very heart of basic economics- it is what DRIVES demand and supply without which we would probably have no economy!

But this article isn’t about economics- it’s about Relationships!

I have had many a friend and colleague tell me that money wasn’t important to their committed relationship and love. I have said it too and as time wears on my perspective has changed.

When I was just a teenage lass madly in love with the boy in my class- oh young puppy love- we exchanged little notes after school (it wasn’t the era of mobile phones)- had long hushed telephone conversations late into the night and my folks footed the telephone bill. Money was no object (after all we weren’t paying) and we were as carefree as the wind.

Time wore on, and in my roaring twenties, the world was my oyster. It didn’t matter that I had a meager pay check and living on a daily diet of coffee- I was single and ready to mingle… All I needed was Mr. Right Now with a set of wheels! Have car-will ride! I don’t mean to sound superficial- but weekends meant club night and the clubs were far- far- away and taking a taxi meant I would have had to go without coffee for at least a week- so hey- needed a ‘chauffeur’ to party with!

Money was still not as important because I worked hard and partied even harder with friends. But when my landlord increased the rent on my bed and wardrobe (yeah that’s all the space I had) I felt the pinch. The pay check that was once a receipt of my independence was now nothing more than an extra bonus allowance since I had to ‘borrow’ from my folks! So yes, I began to understand the value of money and even appreciate it.

Then I met Mr. Perfect- for- me and everything fell into place. We talked about everything under the sun, from the weather- to our futures and all was right! Money was not an issue- we had enough to lead a good life.

Throw a child or children in the mix of your ‘blissful’ contentment- your entire perspective on things change.  Children turn your world upside down and you want to turn your world upside down for them. I think most parents if not all, want the best they can for their child(ren). And to afford the best, one needs the crisp greens $$$ (Ka-ching!)

From the first stage of your life to the very end- money is the provider of all goods and services.  From hospital bills to diapers, from school to career, getting married, having kids, buying a home, travelling, insurance, to organizing the funeral… it’s all about the money!

Charles Dickens in his works often highlighted how money was intrinsically linked to our happiness and this was beautifully illustrated by Mr. Micawber to young David Copperfield,

 “Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen [pounds] nineteen [shillings] and six [pence], result happiness. Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds ought and six, result misery."

The bottom line thus, is to learn to manage your money- because Money will come and Money will go.

As long as I am alive I would want to strive for finer things in life-but it will not define who I am. My material possessions will not follow me to the grave and I don’t want to be remembered for my wealth or what I owned but hopefully I will be remembered for the difference I have made in my world.

With that said, you have to define what money means to you and to your partner and how best to manage it in your relationship. As Lana Turner wittily proclaimed,” A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man,” So here readers, is raising my glass, to your successes! Cheers!

J

As published in POTPOURRI MAGAZINE SEYCHELLES JAN 2013